


If I had only known

by SillyNonnyFicsAreForFandoms



Series: Sequor Suspirium [2]
Category: Actually Stephen, DanPlan, actuallyoddplan
Genre: Alpha Stephen Ng, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Brothers taking care of brothers, Caring for Family, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Gavin is too cute for his own good, High School, Hospitals, Hosuh is only there for a brief time because Stephen needs to understand omega thngs, Hurt/Comfort, Light Swearing, Nesting, No Romance, Omega Gavin Ng, Omega Hosuh Lee, School, Self-blaming, Sick Fic, Sickness, Stephen is a good big brother, Suicidal thoughts at one point, no beta we die like men, so much crying, they're teenagers, vomitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22790839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyNonnyFicsAreForFandoms/pseuds/SillyNonnyFicsAreForFandoms
Summary: Stephen hated Gavin's nest. He absolutely detested it; why did Gavin constantly spend so much time in a pile of dirty laundry? It looked uncomfortable, took up too much space in their room, and was starting to smell. Well, he'd decided what he was going to do. He was going to destroy it because he couldn't deal with it anymore. Too bad he only got as far as de-scenting it before everything went to hell.
Series: Sequor Suspirium [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637188
Comments: 18
Kudos: 47





	If I had only known

**Author's Note:**

  * For [1Underscore1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Underscore1/gifts).



> So, you requested this! Hopefully it lives up to your standards, and I really hope this was what you wanted! If not, let me know and I will do my best to make it right.

_ “Stephen! You should try playing a prank on Gav while dad and I are gone!”  _ His sister had suggested, the day before she left for camp. Their father was out on a business trip, so it was only Stephen, Gavin, and their mother at home for the last week of the summer. Normally, Daniel or Hosuh would come over to play video games with them, but Daniel was visiting his grandparents and Hosuh was in heat. 

That meant Stephen was left to entertain his omega brother all by himself, unless Gavin went out with his friends. As was the case on this Thursday, with the blue haired omega having left to go to a movie with his friend. Stephen didn’t enjoy being alone, bored out of his mind as he had the house to himself. That was when he remembered what his sister had suggested before she left, the beta being more devious than any Alpha or Omega in existence. 

He didn’t want to hurt him. No way in hell. But maybe a small prank wouldn’t hurt. 

He’d always hated Gavin’s nest. Maybe he could mess it up? It took way too much space in their room, he took blankets and clothes from  _ everyone  _ and no one even put up a fight. Even Hosuh had given in and let Gavin use his hoodie! He hated that stupid nest. What was the point of it? Why the hell did omegas even need one? Hosuh didn’t have one, at least he didn’t when he’d visited last week, even if he hadn’t been allowed into his room since they both presented.

Setting his controller down, Stephen started making his way up to their shared room. However, as he reached the top of the stairs, the pungency of the nest’s odor caused him to recoil. When was the last time Gavin washed anything in there?! 

He knew they had scent remover in the cleaning cabinet, since their mother had gone on a cleaning spree recently and every single foreign scent needed to be purged. Stephen had his suspicions that he may be getting a new sibling soon, but hoped it was just a cleaning bug itching at her. 

Two siblings were more than enough. Now where was it? Rummaging around in the cabinet, he found cleaner after cleaner, disinfectants and even six types of sponges but no white can of scent remover. Where’d she put it? Where would she think to put such a thing? Then it hit him. It wouldn’t be with the cleaning supplies; it’d be with the other scent products they used. 

When he opened the lower corner cabinet, the can was the first thing he noticed with a grin. This would be able to get the scent out so he could properly mess with the nest. He’d never been bothered much by the chemical, so it shouldn’t bother Gavin too much. He’d be upset over the nest being messed with, they’d wash the clothes, and everything would be fine.

He’d been so naive then, ignoring the warning labels. If he’d known what would happen, he never would have even entertained the thought.

* * *

Gavin wasn’t the kind of person to get sick easily. He’d never really been a sickly kid, never missed school due to colds or illnesses. Hell, he’d never even had the chicken pox, and he was determined to keep it that way. Omegas got sick faster than any other dynamic, but Gavin refused to fit in to the stereotype or fit the mold in any way shape or form. Everything about the omega failed to live up to the expectations of alphas and that was how he liked it. From his shaved sides pulled back into a tight bun behind his head, a more masculine haircut than people tended to enjoy. And he didn’t care.

But he was very sick now. He’d come home from the movies with his friends--mostly betas and alphas with one other omega--in high spirits. He’d guessed the plot twist from the beginning, no one had believed him, until it did happen. Then he’d gone home and found Stephen in their shared room, cleaning, and decided to curl up in his nest. The nest was his favorite place in the house, with the scents of all his favorite people and they could envelop him in the most wonderful of ways whenever he was bored. He’d even helped Hosuh make his before the heat hit him.

Gavin hadn’t expected to be throwing up a few minutes later, something about his nest unsettling. His first thought was terror at the idea he may possibly be carrying, before he realized how stupid it was as he’d never spent his heat with anyone. Everything hurt, his body rejecting something in the air before he purged himself again. The room was spinning, and he could hear that someone was talking to him but he couldn’t understand who and- Someone was touching him. Who was touching him? Why were they touching him?

He tried to push them away, but his brother’s scent flittered into his senses and he felt his body beginning to relax as he hunched over the toilet. 

“Gavin- Gavin what’s wrong?!” Stephen exclaimed, holding his brother as carefully as he could to view his face. Almost immediately after his brother had touched his nest, he’d shot up with the most pained expression Stephen had ever seen on him and bolted towards the bathroom. What happened? Why was he freaking out? Nothing was wrong with the nest, it smelled clean and fresh for the first time in months. He held fast against his brother’s shoving, refusing to let him go, until he began clinging to the elder teen.

It was like they were little kids again, and Gavin didn’t want to be around anyone other than his mother and big brother when he was sick. Something about their scents always made him feel at home, he’d said, but he’d gotten distant over the years. 

Gavin didn’t answer until the first wave of nausea passed, his throat raw and burning. Stephen only knew that because he could smell it emanating from the omega, a sour and rotten twist on his pleasant baked goods scent. He was breathing heavily as he leaned on his elder brother, the energy drained from him. Was it the sweltering heat? Did one of his friends do something to him?

Stephen subtly checked his brother’s neck, which was in plain view due to the low collar of the blue t shirt he wore. No bites. No extra scents. His friends hadn’t done anything to him, at least not that he could see. Was he sick? He put his hand against Gavin’s forehead, feeling the clammy skin but only mildly warm, nothing dangerous. What had caused this reaction?

“Gavin? Gavin, you need to talk to me. What’s wrong? Did something happen?” He asked, his voice wavering and cracking as he asked. Was he tearing up? Why was his vision blurring?

“Nesstt…” Gavin whispered out, his voice barely above a whisper. He was definitely crying, eyes red and puffy. Someone had done something which upset his body, upset his inner omega to the point of physical repulsion, made him retch. 

“Hold on a second, okay? I’ll go get something for the nausea. Stay right there,” Stephen said, moving to stand but stopped by a tug on his shirt hem. Glancing at Gavin, who’s hand was shaking as it gripped the black fabric. Their eyes met for half a second and Stephen could understand the unsaid plea as clear as crystal.  _ Don’t leave me. Please.  _ But he needed to grab the medication to help settle his stomach. He sighed and knelt back down, reaching down to slide off his shirt so that the omega could borrow it for a comforting scent. It killed him inside, just a little, to watch him pull the fabric to his chest before another wave of nausea hit.

How much pain was his little brother in? What happened? Nothing had happened to his nest except that it was clean now. He pulled away from Gavin’s shaking form, thankful that the omega had thought to put his hair back in it’s normal man bun before leaving for the movies, and ran downstairs to their medicine cabinet to find any form of nausea medication. He was wracking his brain, trying to think of what might have caused the sudden illness. Was it an omega thing? Should he call his mom? But she was at work, and the idea of bothering the beta woman made him shudder. Hopefully this would all blow over by the time she got home, anyway.

Gavin has said something about his nest. What had happened to it? What was so fucking special about that nest that it could cause  _ that  _ reaction? Temptation to burn the damn thing filled him, as if it were the reason Gavin was in so much pain. He couldn’t burn it, but he could ruin it and actually wash the clothes in it. He blamed that stupid pile of clothes and blankets for this horrible, horrible occurance. 

Finally, he found the nausea pills, which were supposed to be dissolved in water before consumption. They looked new, which distantly made Stephen wonder just what was the reason behind it before remembering that cold season was just around the corner. It was likely for the best to have this in the house. 

He grabbed a cup and filled it with water from the filter, dropping a tablet into the water as per instructions before heading up to the bathroom where his brother was still throwing up. The sour scent made him want to recoil, but the worry for his brother’s safety was overpowering. 

It was probably just a cold and post-nasal drip, Stephen assumed as he watched him down the drink faster than it was a pitcher of ice cream during a heat wave. It was nothing. Gavin would be okay. 

* * *

Gavin was not okay, as evident a few hours later when their mother returned home. He’d lost almost all strength in his body, including the ability to stand up, so Stephen had needed to bring him downstairs since their room was out of the question. He’d never been so grateful for the fact that Alphas were naturally strong - god, he needed to go to the gym more, Gavin might as well be double his weight and he was fucking tiny at over half a foot shorter than himself - because he wouldn’t have been able to do so without it. Their mother was tired, it was evident from the dark circles on her face, but she always had time for her boys. And she was often calm with them, seemingly endless patience having come from her nature as a beta.

When she walked into the living room, however, she looked terrified.

“Stephen! What happened to Gavin?! You can smell his distress from outside!” She exclaimed, voice cracking as she hurriedly walked over to her youngest’s side and felt his forehead. Gavin whined, pressing himself closer to her hand while still holding tight to Stephen’s arm as a sob came from his throat. Stephen had been doing everything he could think of to keep him calm, looking at every article he could find on how to calm down a distressed omega and often gagging whenever he got a result for pregnant ones.

Nothing, absolutely nothing at all, was working. His fever wasn’t horrible yet, only at forty degrees, but Stephen had made sure it wasn’t getting worse with the late summer heat. The air conditioner was on, Gavin had an ice pack on his neck - that part had caused a violent reaction, Stephen knew from the lightly bleeding bandages on his arm - and he’d even gotten ice cream for him to make sure it helped stay down. Obviously it wasn’t the best thing, but Stephen did not cook for the safety of all those in the vicinity, and Gavin wasn’t up to cooking either.

“I don’t know; He just started throwing up after he got home and into his stupid nest! He’s really weak so I brought him down here where we can all monitor him.”

“Did something happen to his nest? You didn’t disturb it, did you?”

Stephen felt the anger rising again, a growl forming in his throat. What was with everyone and that fucking nest?! It was just a pile of dirty clothes and blankets that Gavin had stolen! He should’ve destroyed it!

“All I did was fucking clean it with that scent remover! What the hell’s the issue with that?!”

His mother’s face drained of color, eyes going wide in such a frightened way that Stephen had never seen before. He’d yelled at her before, it wasn’t that, so what the hell? Why was she so frightened? 

“Stephen, stay with your brother. I’m going to go check something and I’m hoping I’m wrong.” She whispered, standing up and heading towards the stairs. 

Okay. That was odd. But as soon as she left, Gavin went right back to clinging to him. He hadn’t been this clingy in years, not since they were little kids.

“Sorry, I’m causing you trouble,” Gavin said softly, "I don't know what's going on. Everything hurts.”

“It’s gonna be okay, Gavin. Mom’s overreacting. It’s probably just a cold or something and you’ll be better in no time.”

The Omega’s scent soured again, his face scrunching up as he gripped at his stomach. “Feel like I’m gonna be sick-” He warned, and Stephen jumped up to grab a trash can.

“Not on the carpet! You and I both know mom will execute us if we ruin the carpet!” He exclaimed, dragging a small empty bin over to his brother and shoving it into his face just in time for the nausea to take hold of him as he wretched into the bin. 

Stephen sat down next to him, rubbing his back and ignoring the sickening scent. This was his baby brother, he’d always be there for him, even if he was sick. He’d thought of worse, hell, he’d  _ seen  _ way worse than this in video games and online which made his stomach turn just thinking about it, but this? This was nothing which made him want to vomit.

No. Instead, it made him want to cry. 

Knowing he could do nothing but sit there, brushing the blue hair back so it wouldn’t get in the way. His hands were shaking as he did so, rapidly shifting from wanting to protect him with all his might to wanting to scream at his own helplessness. Something in that nest had probably moulded, causing Gavin to react this way. 

“Gonna destroy the goddamn thing,” He muttered under his breath, not noticing how Gavin flinched under his hands at the light growl in his voice, “Stupid fucking nest.”

Gavin began thrashing against him, trying to throw him off of him in a wild panic. No, his nest! He needed to protect his nest! Stephen was going to destroy his safe place, his sanctuary, and he couldn’t let that happen! But his stomach panged as he moved, causing him to heave again into the bin. He needed to protect his nest, he couldn’t let it be destroyed, he needed it-!

He could distantly hear his mother’s swearing over the blood pounding in his ears, his mind fuzzy. His brother was right there, his scent wrapping around him in such a way that he could do nothing to help, their mother’s calming scent of old books trying to calm him but it did nothing. There was a distant twinge of vanilla, and he started to cry as he realized the trashbag itself was scented and the close proximity caused his mind to go hazy, burning up as everything overwhelmed his system.

He hoped it would be over soon. 

Their mother walked down the stairs quickly, the white can in hand. 

“Stephen! Come here, now!” she exclaimed, and Stephen quickly left his brother’s side. What did she want? “Read this!” 

She handed him the can, pointing to big black lettering on the side of the can where it warned against using it on Omegas or on their nests. Stephen swore his heart stopped, a pit opening in his gut as tears welled up in his eyes. It was his fault. It was his fault that his baby brother was sick and he couldn’t do anything about it. Because he’d done it. He’d been responsible for the pain Gavin was in and there was school coming up, Gavin’s first day of highschool, but now things were going downhill faster than ever before.

It was his fault. It was all his fault.

* * *

On the third day of the fever, the bouts of immobility began. He’d tried to get up to take a shower and tumbled over the edge of the couch, crashing into the coffee table and breaking it into pieces. Stephen was chosen to ensure that Gavin was okay, but he hadn’t been able to help him at that point until an hour later. When he saw his brother laying there on the floor, sobbing into nothingness as he curled in on himself. He’d only been like this for two days but he looked so pitiful it made his inner wolf howl in indignation, wanting to rip himself apart at the seams for allowing this to happen. 

Gavin shouldn’t be there, he knew he should be getting ready for the first day of school tomorrow instead of spending his weekend sick as a dog in agony, curled up on the couch and unable to focus on anything other than keeping food down.

“Hey, Gavin,” Stephen said, kneeling next to his brother and helping him to sit up.  _ When had he gotten so light?  _ “I got something to show you, if you’re up for it, then I need to step out for a moment.” 

Gavin recoiled in on himself, trying to make himself as small as possible. “S’cold, Alpha…” He whined, hiding his face against Stephen’s chest. The Alpha tensed, breathing becoming uneven as he processed just what he’d just heard. His brother, who’d fought against being seen as an Omega ever since he presented last year, who refused to call anyone by their dynamics ever, had just called him Alpha. Pulling back, he put his hands on the pale, sweaty skin of Gavin’s cheeks and forced him to look at him, mumbling to himself.

No, no no no no no!!

Gavin’s normally violet eyes had paled, shimmering towards icy blue as his inner wolf won out over his mind. This wasn’t his Gavin, not his brother, and he felt his blood run cold as he hefted him up into his arms. Even though he squirmed, Stephen persisted; he didn’t know if what he was going to do was going to work, but he could only hope it would. He set Gavin down on his bed, tucking him in with the blanket as he’d said it was cold. He needed to leave, needed to step out for just a moment and hopefully, Gavin wouldn’t die while he was gone.

He helped him take some medication, the same things to keep the nausea and fever down which he’d been taking, but this time it was the night version so the omega could actually sleep. Over the past few days, Gavin had only gotten short bursts of sleep before the nausea came back, and he had a trash can next to him in the case that it happened again.

“Sleep well, okay Gav?” Stephen whispered after a few minutes, feeling his grip go lax. He sighed and stood up, yawning as he stretched himself out, before heading back downstairs. He couldn’t sit in this house with everything the way it was, needed a breath of air amongst the insanity of Gavin’s overpowering scent. His mom had been incredibly angry with him when she found out exactly what had occurred, but he didn’t understand why it was so specific about the nest. So, instead, he was going to go talk to someone who did. 

When he first breathed in the warm, clean air, he swore all the tension in his body left him. He hadn’t left the house since the incident, which made him want to scream at the thought. The last time he’d been stuck inside for so long, he’d been the sick one, and there was no way he could do anything about it. Now, he could run and do what he wanted, so long as he got back quickly. It wasn’t fair, keeping him inside, especially when Gavin was stuck inside as well. Maybe fresh air would do him good. 

They didn’t live too far away, a ten minute walk down the street and all too soon he was standing in front of his destination, ringing the doorbell. Cinnamon and hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream filled his senses, faint but still there as the windows were left open to help filter it out of the house. 

_ “One second!”  _ Came from inside, a woman’s voice he was all too familiar with. She carefully opened the door a minute later, her fresh rose and raspberry scent blending beautifully in a tart mix with the hot chocolate. “Oh, Stephen, it’s you.” Her voice fell a little flat at the sight of the purple haired alpha, “Did you need something?”

“Yeah, I’m here to see your son? I’ve got a question about the summer homework.” The lie fell from his lips as easily as breathing, being used to justifying his presence in her dwelling with innocent things such as homework. She had never liked him, never approved of his carefree attitude or his blatant disregard for social constructs, putting bold and perverted ideas into the heads of omegas whom she assumed to be innocent and pure. The days where he wanted to slap here were many, almost as often as he had to see her.

“Can’t you ask Daniel? Or his sweet Alpha older brother?”

“They’re in Korea until the day after tomorrow, ma’am.” 

As he shrugged, the woman sighed and motioned him in, though he knew better than to follow her as she walked into the house to fetch her son. The beta woman could probably smell Gavin on him, and thought he was some form of playboy even though he really wasn’t that kind of person. Surely she knew he had an omega for a younger brother? Maybe she did, and still thought he was trash.

He didn’t know why he should care, honestly. She hated him, it happened. That wasn’t what bothered him; what bothered him was that she so blatantly preferred Elias to himself.

“Stephen!” Said a tired voice, making the Alpha jump as he saw Hosuh standing in the hallway. He had on one of his hoodies, a purple one which matched his hair and came down to the shorter teen’s thighs, and loose sweatpants. His hair was messy, out of it’s usual tie back and curling over his shoulders.

“Hey, Hosuh. I need your help, so mind if we talk?” Stephen asked, and his friend looked a little confused. Those ice blue eyes should worry him, make him think that his inner omega had taken hold of his will even though his heat broke yesterday, but he’d known him long enough to know it was his natural color. 

“Mhm? Yeah, sure, come on up.” He yawned, before turning to his mother and telling her they’d be in his room if she needed them. Stephen knew the rule; the door stayed open at all times, and if not the door, then the window did. As stupid as it could be, he understood why that rule was in place. Hosuh was their only child, and he was an omega at that, while both his parents were betas. He was also one of two male omegas in the entire school district, with Gavin being the other in the pair. In all of Canada, male omegas only made up point zero one percent of a nearly thirty eight million population. They were rare and the odds of two of them living so close, hell, living in the same area at all, were astronomical, so their parents did all they could to protect them.

Even if it was overkill. 

Stephen had forgotten his scent mask at home, and as he traversed the stairs up towards Hosuh’s room, he wished that he hadn’t. At least then it would dampen the scent a little, not overwhelm him with the onslaught of Hosuh’s sweet scent.

“It’s airing out, sorry. I’d put scent remover but Mom doesn’t like to keep it around,” Hosuh explained, and Stephen jolted at the words as they entered Hosuh’s room. His bed was neatly made, a handmade comforter on it which was a gift from his aunt, his nest at the foot of the bed and everything seemed… Pristine. Like he hadn’t been in heat for the last week.

“It’s alright. Anyway, I have a few questions about omegas and I’m pretty sure you are the only one who can answer them, Hos.” He sighed as the omega climbed into his nest, leaning against the footboard of his bed and glancing at him before cuddling into it. 

“What’s wrong? Did something happen with Gavin?”

“He’s sick, and I had to wash everything in it. Mom nearly burst a blood vessel, so could you explain to me what the hell it is with these damn things?” 

Hosuh looked confused before smiling, motioning for him to join him in the pile of clothes and blankets. It didn’t even look that comfortable, what the hell? But he looked so happy, so content, that Stephen made his way over anyway. As soon as he was fully in, he was shocked to realize something entirely new. It was  _ comforting.  _ The second he was in and laid down like he’d seen Hosuh and Gavin do, the warm scents filled him and reminded him of the one time that Hosuh had invited his and Daniel’s families over to celebrate the lunar new year, with warm cakes, singing and dancing. He was back in that moment, families united for one special celebration. Everyone had brought food, though Gavin had made a point to try everything and ended up being too sick to dance even though he tried.

It felt like someone had bottled up the feeling of having everyone he cared about around him and injected it into the pile of soft items. 

“That’s what ‘it’ is with nests, Stephen. They let us be safe and home, it’s like a warm hug when it’s snowing. You had to wash his nest?” 

Stephen nodded, relaxing into the blanket underneath him. 

“Mhm. He doesn’t wash it on his own and it reeked, so I washed it.”

“Without his permission.”

“Yeap.”

“He’s gonna be mad at you.”

“I know,” He said lazily, the warm comfort of the nest begging him to sleep. He hadn’t slept much more than Gavin in the last few days, up as often as he could be to make sure he didn’t suddenly vanish or die. “I wanna rebuild it for him. Mind helping me with that? I don’t know the first thing about nests.”

Hosuh laughed, the angelic choir reining down upon him as he heard it. It always lifted his spirits. 

“I can tell. I can’t leave the house until tomorrow, but I can write down some instructions for you? Oh! I can give Gavin something for his nest! Omega scents help a lot! I’ll make some soup and bring it over tomorrow after school, okay?”

“Yeah, yeahh…” He let out a yawn as Hosuh grabbed a pen and paper from his desk nearby, writing down the instructions for the alpha to build a nest for Gavin, resting the notebook against his legs and letting his free hand tangle itself in the alpha’s purple hair, trying to pull him to rest well until he was finished. It was a calling need which Stephen had been ignoring, and he was ready to answer it. 

Until he thought of Gavin. He’d stolen this feeling of comfort, of warmth, belonging and safety from him, and he’d made him sick on top of it all. He was probably still sick now, throwing up at home all alone, crying even if his body had run out of tears to shed. It was his fault for letting this happen, he’d been planning on playing a prank but the reality of what happened was so, so much worse. 

Now he was crying, but Hosuh didn’t mention it as the Alpha pulled him in close, pressing his face against his stomach to hide his shame. He always let his walls come down when people he cared about were hurt, and the flood gates opened at that time too to let the tears fall. Sure, Stephen could be a little mean sometimes, but he was never outright uncaring for them. 

Hosuh let him cry out all his feelings, let him sob and cling to him like a child as he stroked his hair, keeping his breathing even as the alpha held him by the waist, his mother peeking in to see what the noise was about before quickly ducking out. This wasn’t something she needed to witness, a moment of weakness where they could be human and not care about the standards of their dynamics. 

It was supposed to be a beta’s job to console rowdy alphas, an omega’s job was to cry with them and comfort the children, but Hosuh shed no tears. He didn’t need to cry. He didn’t want to cry. 

Once Stephen finished his crying, wiping his tears on the hoodie with a wince, he let go.

“Sorry,” He whispered, “I don’t know how you’re so good at that.”

“Good at what?” 

“The comforting thing. How?”

Hosuh gave him a small, soft smile, handing over the piece of paper with instructions as to how to build a nest. “It’s pretty simple, really,” He said as he stood up, heading over to his dresser before grabbing a t shirt from one of the drawers and slipping off the hoodie to be washed, “You needed to know that I was there. No comforting words were going to help that; sometimes, people just need to cry, and that’s alright.” 

Stephen stared at his friend, processing the words he’d heard. All his life, he’d needed to explain whenever he cried, explain why he felt that urge, even when he couldn’t think of the reason. Did Gavin just need to cry? Or was he in so much pain that he couldn’t process it? He needed to go back, needed to get home and make sure he wasn’t dead-!

A blanket was draped over his head, stirring him from his thoughts as Hosuh’s cheery face came into view. 

“Go on back, okay? I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Bring the blanket to Gavin, it might help him. Text or call me with updates on him if anything changes between now and tomorrow. Can’t have our baby being sick on his first day of highschool, right?” 

Stephen laughed and stood, taking the throw blanket off of his head and folding it over his arm as he headed towards the door. Glancing over his shoulder, he smirked at the omega who now looked confused.

“I think you messed up your English again, because Gavin is definitely not  _ our  _ baby.” He said, and Hosuh began laughing at his own embarrassment as his face went bright red. A quip of  _ you know I meant your brother!  _ Was sent his way as he left, letting him chuckle as he walked back home. It was only noon, he should make lunch soon for him and his brother, something easy for him to keep down but still healthy. Maybe banana toast? Or sandwiches? Either way, he needed to get the nest rebuilt before even thinking of cooking. 

Gavin’s soured scent wasn’t as overwhelming when he stepped back into the house, wasn’t nearly as bad when he went upstairs to check on him. A weight lifted off his shoulders when he saw him peacefully sleeping, hair askew and curled in his comforter for warmth, his hand falling off over the side of the bed. Stephen set the blanket and instructions from Hosuh down on his own bed, keeping his eyes mostly on his roomate, then walked over to their closet. Deep in the back of the fixture was a large white plush toy, which had been made by their grandmother once she heard their mother was pregnant with Gavin. A white bird, with a red bow ribbon around its neck, but Stephen didn’t quite know what type of bird it was. He did know, however, that the name Gavin meant white falcon; though the shape reminded him more of a goose.

They’d hidden it back there when Gavin was six and refused to go to school without it, inevitably ribbing the bow off and tearing the neck as a result. It had long since been sewn up, fixed lovingly, but they decided to give the unnamed goose a break and hide him. Stephen picked it up and cradled it for a second, thinking about how small it really was. He’d always thought it was bigger, but now that he was holding it eight years later, he realized it wasn’t that big. Just an average size bird plushie. 

He headed over to Gavin’s bed, gently picking up his arm and sliding the bird under it and watched as Gavin clung to the bird and his hand, though his grip was still weak. He leaned over and brushed away the loose blue hair with his hand, kissing his forehead, then silently taking his things and leaving so he could build Gavin a new nest. Somewhere he could be safe and reminded of home. 

Maybe then, that fever would break and things would be okay again.

* * *

When Gavin woke up, it was already dark outside and he felt worse than ever. He could move, but everything felt  _ so cold  _ that he didn’t know how he was still breathing. Slowly he rose from the bed, wanting to cry despite having nothing left to give, and he made his way out of the bathroom. After using the bathroom, he made his way downstairs where something smelled heavenly. Beefy, but with a hint of ginger and garlic which made him want to dive his face into it and devour it whole. Every few steps down the stairs, his vision spun and his knees went weak, causing him to need to take a deep breath as he waited it out. 

He was determined to get that food.

“Gavin! What’re you doing out of bed?!” He heard Stephen exclaim, rushing over and holding him steady as he helped him down the last few steps. His warm scent made Gavin relax a little, the pain receding ever so slightly from his body. 

“Sorry, Stephen,” He said, his voice hoarse from his earlier sobbing, “I… Just woke up.”

“I’m just worried about you. Mom ordered takeout, and got you that soup you like, but she was dead tired and went to bed early. Think you can handle the broth?” 

Gavin nodded, excited at the thought of eating something warm. Stephen led him into the kitchen, pausing whenever his body couldn’t handle it, and sat him down at the table while he went to get the soup. The omega shivered, the cold setting in. There was no way it was summer, it had to be the middle of winter based on how cold it was, and as he cuddled in on himself he felt something soft which he hadn’t noticed before. Glancing down, he saw a familiar little goose in his arms and trilled at the feeling. 

Stephen came back with a large bowl of soup and Gavin happily ate, feeling alright for the first time since this whole epidemic began. He was still in pain, but it was nowhere near as intense as before. The soup was so warm, so good as it slid down his throat, and he felt cozy and drowsy by the time the bowl was finished.

“You seem to be feeling better, huh?” Stephen laughed, reaching over and ruffling his little brother’s hair, “Sucks that your fever hasn’t gone down.”

“Is that why it’s cold? I mean, the pain isn’t as bad, but it’s freezing!”

Stephen glanced at his phone, checking the outside weather, and turned back to his brother. “It’s twenty seven degrees out, Gav, it’s hot as hell. Lemme get the thermometer, I’ll check your temperature.”

“Okay. Where’s dad and-” 

“They’ll be back tomorrow, Dad’s flight was delayed and the bus broke down on the way back.” 

Gavin went silent again, almost like his brother could read his thoughts. He’d probably expected that question eventually, but it still hurt that he didn’t even get to finish his sentence before being cut off. The thermometer was brought over, but Gavin was surprised to find out that he didn’t immediately tell him to open his mouth.

“C’mon, you just ate hot soup, you gotta chill out before we can properly tell. Now, up.” He helped his brother stand up, bringing him in towards the living room. Gavin wished he had his nest, the pain was coming back now that he was standing, and everything was so, so,  _ cold.  _ He couldn’t feel his feet, though he desperately wanted to curl up in his nest. What had happened to it anyway? 

As they turned the corner into the living room, Gavin gasped and stared at the nest in the middle of the room. It wasn’t as pristine as the one he made, but it looked so  _ cosy  _ that he didn’t even care, snuggling into the softness. 

“Did you make this for me?” He asked, smiling up at him and Stephen nodded, sitting down on the floor next to him. “Come in, it’s so nice! You did well!”

Stephen joined him in the nest, letting Gavin pull him in and hold onto him. A wave of pain tore through the omega, causing him to hiss and whine. He held him throughout the waves of pain, feeling his body finally give in to the need to sleep.

When he awoke hours later, it was still dark, but Gavin wasn’t nearly in as pleasant a state as he was before. He was shaking, crying out and sobbing, holding onto him weakly as he gripped at Stephen’s shirt.

“It’s so cold, so cold- Kill me, please- I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” He exclaimed and panic ran through Stephen, sitting up and holding onto his brother. Gavin was scratching at his wrists, and Stephen quickly pulled his hands away and pulled him in close.

“Get a hold of yourself, Gavin! It’s alright, it’s okay! I know it’s scary but you’re not going to die. You can do this, you can beat this sickness,” He said, but it did nothing to quell the omega’s irrational screaming. His ice blue eyes were blown wide, no shreds of his normal self remaining. There wasn’t anything left in him, and Stephen held his brother securely even as Gavin fought against his hold. He could scruff him, but he didn’t want to, didn’t want to hurt him.

So he just took it as Gavin screamed, scratching and beating against his back and kicking out, before his body went limp. The begging for death, screaming of the bitter cold remained, so he wasn’t asleep. His body had just given out. 

Then the coughing began again. His body jolting against Stephen with every agonizing, wet cough.

“Stephen? Is Gavin okay?” Their mother’s voice came, and Stephen looked up at her in fear. What the hell was happening to Gavin? Why was this happening? Was it really all his fault?

“Mom-” He began, voice quivering as the light was turned on. His mother gasped, rushing for the phone, “Mom what’s happening to Gavin?!”

“Stephen, I need you to keep him talking!” 

That… he could do.

He took a deep, shuddering breath as he teared up, realizing that Gavin was probably just as scared as he was. 

“Hey, Gavin?” He asked, steadying Gavin into a sitting position as the coughing wave died, unfocused eyes gazing around the room lazily.

“Hmm…?”

“Are you looking forward to being a highschooler? I know you wanted to go to the same highschool as me, Hosuh and Daniel.”

“I.. Wanna go to school.” 

“That’s good. School is important. You’ll be with other omegas. Do you like that idea?”

“Yeah. Hurts. S’cold.”

“I know, Gav, but you gotta tell me. Do you like the idea of being with other omegas?”

“Hosuh.” 

Stephen smiled and grabbed the blanket his friend had given him, handing it over to him and letting Gavin press it against his face. 

“Hosuh will be there to meet you and I at the front door, but you gotta make it through this. Is there anything you wanna do?”

“I wanna die…”

“Mnn, nope. You can’t do that.” He pulled Gavin in close again as the coughing returned in full force. 

He didn’t even want to think about what was happening. He didn’t want to think about the first day of school. He didn’t want to think about anything other than holding onto his brother and making sure he was safe. 

It reminded him of when they were children; well, younger children. Gavin would constantly hold his hand and always wanted to play with him and no one else. Not even their sister. They spent so much time together, with the blue haired child often climbing into his bed whenever he had nightmares or was sick. Gavin once told him that he knew he was home when he could smell him, and when he was sick all he wanted was to be wrapped up in it.

Throughout the years, Stephen had always taken good care of his little brother, always putting his safety before his own. But now, he realized that he might be the reason for that person’s death. He swore his heart stopped, sobbing overcoming the pair of brothers in distress as he clung to Gavin’s pale form, the two of them shaking fiercely. He pressed his ear to Gavin’s chest, hearing the weak heartbeat and choked out a cry of sorrow. His brother was dying, he was losing him and he was right there, he couldn’t do anything-! They needed to get him to a hospital! 

“I’m so sorry, Stephen, but Gavin’s going to need to go to the hospital. Please let him go, we don’t want to make things worse,” Said his mother softly as she knelt down with her boys, “The ambulance is on it’s way, but only one of us can go with him. I’m going to go with him, and you need to stay here until it’s time to go to school, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Her eyes were filled with tears, voice shaking as she gently pried his hands away from Gavin. The omega reached out for his brother, hands trembling and whining in subvocalizations of normal speech. He needed it, needed to be held and feel safe, he didn’t know what was going on- Why was everything going black? 

Then other hands were on him, lifting him up onto a flat surface and he  _ screeched,  _ thrashing against their hold and crying out for his pack. For his family. For his safety, they were hurting him, everything hurt, everything was so cold that he didn’t know what he was going to do other than freeze, and he made eye contact with his brother, watching as his eyes filled with red before a stabbing pain came from his arm and the back of his neck was squeezed, body forced to go limp even though the tears still fell, white light flashing behind him before the darkness won over his body.

Stephen couldn’t believe he had to go to school that day, even if he understood why. His mother had paperwork to fill out as one of Gavin’s parents at the hospital, and the ambulance could only have taken one person. But why did he need to go to school?! Because he needed to tell the principal about the situation. That Gavin was in the hospital with a chemical illness.

He was offered to leave school early, but he knew he’d just be going back to the empty house, so he powered through. Hosuh, as promised, had soup for him to bring home and he nearly started crying when he thought about it. During lunch break the Omega dragged him outside, back behind the school where no one would see if he started crying, and ignored the whispers from jealous Alphas who assumed it was for unsavory purposes. 

When Stephen finished explaining about everything, and about how it was all his fault and now his brother might be dying, Hosuh leaned up and nuzzled his shoulder. 

“I’ll ask my mom if she can drive you to the hospital so you can see Gavin. If she says no, then we’ll ask my dad and he can drive you, or the guidance counselor, because you need to be with your brother right now, and I’m not gonna let that be as it is.”

Stephen had never been so thankful for his friend as he was in that moment. 

Thankfully, it only took a small whimper from the omega and every Alpha and Beta in a ten mile radius would be begging to do whatever it was he wanted, with the final lingering scents of his heat clinging to him, so his mother had agreed to drive Stephen there. The alpha dreaded the day when Gavin learned to use his status in the same way that Hosuh did--there was a darker side to that pure soul, he just knew it--as he had enough of a hard time denying him whenever he wanted something as it was.

But now he was sitting in the hospital room next to his sleeping mother, waiting for Gavin to wake up from the sedation. The doctor told them that there was a chance Gavin would have a persistent cough for quite some time if not the rest of his life, but it wasn’t something dangerous. Just a result of having been exposed to the chemicals for too long. There was an air freshener filled with fake scents, meant to keep the omegas calm in the otherwise sterile hospital.

He gently stroked the back of Gavin’s hand, whispering apology after apology as he waited for him to wake up so they could all go home. 


End file.
